thor has something for everybody…if you are attracted to men he is perfect boyfriend material. if you are not he is just a big nice man who respects women & smiles a lot. he lifts weights all day to get good at hugging
thor is that chad looking dude pathetic men try to say is the enemy and he’s always sort of messing around in class so u think he’s sort of an ass but one night you end up at the same party as him and find out he’s the DD for everyone there. He makes 15 trips. He carries four grown men into their dorms on his shoulders and makes sure they pass out on their sides so they’re safe but not until he makes all of them drink a glass of water.
then he asks everyone else who’s still conscious if they want to go to steak n’ shake before the night ends. he pays for all the shakes.
I’ve never read a more accurate description of Thor in my life
the post-credits scene of infinity war 2 is gonna be thor going to a tattoo parlor to get that tattoo to commemorate loki he was supposed to get in ragnarök but when it’s done it says ‘loki is the best’ instead of ‘loki was the best’ (in like.. really shitty handwriting) and thor’s like “you’ve made a mistake my good sir” and the tattoo artist’s like “or did i?” and he transforms back into loki and thor’s just
Shuri shouting out the floor is lava and recording the confusion among the avengers wondering why tchalla king of Wakanda hopped up on a counter cause goddammit his little sister pulls this shit all the time and peter is stuck on the wall because he’s also a child of the internet and understands the meme life and now his fate is sealed there will never not be a time Shuri isn’t camera ready and yelling out the floor is lava to see the wackiest places she could get peter to stick on
T’Challa ignored her once so she developed synthetic deployable lava and the next time she yelled the floor is lava it actually was. T’Challa lives in fear now because he knows if he doesn’t pretend the floor is dangerous, it will be.
Once she got peter to stick onto T’Challa.
Everytime she does this, Thor is the first to find high ground. because Loki used to play the same game, and Loki was never one for ‘pretend’.
thor (2011) is an interesting movie to me because i think, despite a few flaws, the reason it never really took off the way iron man or cap:tfa did was because the audience it reached didn’t match the intended audience. the intended audience was so confused by what they saw because it didn’t reflect their ideal in terms of what they thought a thor movie would be, while the audience it ended up attracting claimed the empty spaces and turned their “sub-fandom” into something that practically rejected the fandoms of mcu!iron man and cap at that time
what i’m trying to say here, in essence, is this:
thor (2011) is a chick flick
to prove my point, i went to the world’s most trustworthy database on film analysis, urban dictionary, and found a few definitions obviously written by men
A film that indulges in the hopes and dreams of women and/or girls. A film that has a happy, fuzzy, ridiculously unrealistic ending.
word which refers to movies characteristically geered at young females in their twenties and late teens. Must include: love scenes, kissing, something sad, a happy ending
A sappy film that is generally geared towards women. It is always a love story, usually a comedy, and nausea inducing in men.
Term for a movie geared for women. Quite often seen on cable TV like The Hallmark Channel and endorsed by people like Oprah. These movies make women the heros and show life from a woman’s perspective. Most men hate these films cuz they are cheezy and dumb. Pussy-whipped men like them…or pretend to.
A movie that embodies all that is wrong with the world; a movie which displays a gross over-indulgence into, and exploration of, the workings of the female psyche and the accomanying emotional tendencies.
Pornography for women.
every complaint i have EVER seen about thor (2011) was about anything contained to earth: jane, darcy, not so much selvig, thor being hammer-less and learning to calm down and be gentle, women only liking it because hemsworth is a 6′3 outback steakhouse victoria’s filet mignon with twinkly dream eyes
but i think that’s because that’s the sentimental part of the movie, the emotional part. it’s driven by a romance and the intellect of a woman (arguably two). thor has to learn to get in touch with his softer side in a world that’s a bit more fragile than his own, furthermore there’s no other steaks– i, em, i mean men like him to balance out. there’s no male audience vessel in this movie
none
oh, you’re thinking selvig? i’m thinking not! there’s no male audience vessel.
men can’t relate to this movie
oh, you think they can relate to THOR? in the words of drax, “this is not a dude, you’re a dude. this… is a man”. thor is the ideal boyfriend figure, he belongs to everyone who wants a boyfriend, all the thor stans i know are women and/or like men, if you’re a thor stan and a straight guy i automatically have my suspicions and my eyes are guarded by red flags
#THOR 1 IS A SHAKEPEAREAN CHICK FLICK #THOR IS FOR WOMEN AND THE GAYS AND THAT’S JUST FACTS #the reason why thor’s been called unrelatable for so long was #cos cishet dudes could not fucking relate to him #COS HE A KING MADE OUT OF SUNSHINE WHO LEARNS AND APOLOGISES #FOR HIS MISTAKES #SOMETHING THEY’RE INCAPABLE OF (via @spacefloozy)
You had me at
hemsworth is a 6′3 outback steakhouse victoria’s filet mignon with twinkly dream eyes
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