Tag: yup

glumshoe:

“Slow and steady wins the race” is not the fucking moral of The Tortoise and the Hare. Try “don’t be a smug, haughty asshole and disregard people lacking obvious advantages” or “persistence and effort can be powerful on their own”. The tortoise didn’t win because he was slow and steady, he won because the hare looked down on him as his inferior.

collector-student:

howilearnedtocope:

  • Average isn’t a bad word. 
  • You don’t need to be good at something to enjoy it. 
  • Your worth isn’t based on being better than anyone else. 
  • You are enough.

This is so important to understand.
“You are good enough” are words that change people’s lives.

“it’s easy” can make scary tasks scarier

autisticeducator:

realsocialskills:

When people are struggling or afraid to try something, well-meaning people often try to help them by telling them that the thing is easy. This often backfires.

For instance:

  • Kid: I don’t know how to write a paper! This paper has to be 5 pages long, and we have to do research! It’s so hard!
  • Parent: Don’t worry. 5 pages isn’t that much. This isn’t such a hard assignment. 

In this interaction, the parent is trying to help, but the message the kid is likely hearing is “This shouldn’t be hard. You’re failing at an easy thing.”

If something is hard or scary, it’s better to acknowledge that, and focus on reassuring them that it is possible. (And, if necessary and appropriate, help them to find ways of seeing it as possible.)

For instance:

  • Kid: I don’t know how to write a paper! This paper has to be 5 pages long, and we have to do research! It’s so hard!
  • Parent: It’s hard, and that’s ok. You can do hard things.
  • Parent: What are you writing about?
  • Kid: Self-driving cars. But I can’t find anything. 

And so on.

This isn’t unique to interactions between parents and children. It can also happen between friends, and in other types of relationships.

tl;dr If something’s hard for someone, telling them that it’s easy probably won’t help. Reassuring them that they can do hard things often does help, especially if you can support them in figuring out how to do the thing.



They have actually done research on this. In cultures and households where kids are told that to struggle with something is a good thing, the kids are more likely to continue to try to do the thing before giving up. In their minds, they are thinking “This thing is hard but if I keep trying or try a different method, maybe I will succeed at it.”

Telling people that things should be easy or that it should come natural (aka talent), actually inhibits their willingness to try as they think that if they can’t do a task that is “easy”, something must be wrong with them.

ryoubakvra:

i literally hate those obnoxious older fans who, seemingly out of sheer reflexive fear of change, insist on shitting on the newest incarnation of any franchise they enjoy, just so they can bask in their own precious nostalgia and sense of superiority

however. i have to get this out of my system. the magic school bus reboot looks……………. so ugly………… just SO ugly

sashayed:

This one time I went to an address by the American ambassador to the UK and he said he does this exercise with British students where he gives them index cards and asks them to write things on one side that frustrate/scare them about America, and on the other side things that inspire them about America, and he said when his office collected them the most-written concepts on the frustration side were like “guns, violence, racism” and the inspiration side was overwhelmingly “NASA”

poct960:

madamgyoza:

no one wants to hear it but love is earned after the initial infatuation. commitment is something u both mutually agree to and then from there it’s work. it’s not work like it’s a chore it’s jus work like it takes effort. to get good at these things takes practice. it takes practice to learn to communicate better and it takes practice to learn to love each other in the ways u need to be loved.

Can confirm that everything falls apart if one of the party doesn’t do this