tom holland starred in billy elliot on stage, still dances ballet a lot, confidently said he’d fuck thor, is soft around puppies and kids all the time, talks about getting emotional/crying without making it seem like a bad thing or a big deal, and dressed in this
while dancing to rihanna, and i just love him a lot for it, ok? i’m glad this is the guy that little boys growing up now will see playing spiderman. you go on rejecting toxic masculinity, tom.
I don’t understand how you can see Killmonger disrespect culture, attack women, basically was trained by military to tear down civilizations, his own father says he is disappointed in what he’s done, move to arm black people outside of Wakanda with high tech weapons (yes cuz giving Leroy and em cannon blasters is gonna help the cause) and y’all still fix ya lips to say he was right lol when Nakia exists. Wild.
I was waiting for someone to say this.
There’s a reason he was the villain. He killed his girlfriend in cold blood. His anger was understandable, true, but his methods abhorrent and destructive. The end result would have been huge amounts of death and chaos. No positive outcome.
[Killmonger was an amazingly written villain and a great, if not perfect, example of how to execute a “tragic backstory villain arc”. Due to his characters anger and Michael’s incredible acting it made Killmonger a character a large amount of people could empathize with. An amazing villain. Truly.]
Nakia LITERALLY was team “let’s stop having Wakanda be an isolationist nation and help the worlds oppressed” from the jump and she doesn’t get enough credit.
The belief that men are biologically inclined to be more aggressive and oppressive is false.
Men do not need to repress a instinct to be aggressive because it doesn’t exist.
They are taught from an early age to repress all emotions except for anger which leads to violent outbursts.
Toxic masculinity upholds this repression leading to many
men not knowing how to communicate clearly and to associate women with
emotions they deem “inferior”.
we been know
“Toxic masculinity is learned behavior and the teaching of it is systematic and unhealthy.”
In other news, water is wet.
Its still important to have the research to back it up.
Tv show: these are the horrible ramifications of toxic masculinity and the suffering you can cause to the people around you
Men watching the show: this character is so badass! He doesn’t take shit from anyone did you see how he killed that guy! I hate his wife! I am the danger!
can also substitute ‘i am the danger’ with ‘everybody lies’, ‘wubba lubba dub dub’ or idk, Bojack horseman noise
Straight men who infantilize women’s friendships have no fucking survival instinct. Like my uncle is always making fun of and rolling his eyes at my aunt’s friend lunches and telephone dates with her lady friends, teasing her like she’s a gossipy teenage girl in high school drama. And my aunt just laughs about it but I know for a fact that if it wasn’t for her best friend K, she would have probably set him on fire by now.
Like straight men are capable of maybe a quarter of the indepth emotional labor and support women do for each other. Like men can literally have one friend named Bob that they go fishing with once a year and still be content for life. Then they think it’s cute and girlish that their wives have these long term, integrated, emotionally intense relationships with women but like…LOL, it’s not because men don’t need those kinds of relationships, it’s just that they get it all from their wives while offering peanuts in return. PEANUTS.
Like if your woman is on the phone for 2 hours with her friend and you think that’s childish of her, just know that she spent half of that time getting the support that you should be giving her (but are incapable of) and the rest lamenting what a giant fucking baby manchild you are.
This is how homophobia and misogyny hurts men: it makes these kinds of in-depth, deeply emotionally invested friendships a feminine thing to do, and therefore unmanly (and un-straight) for men to do. Men are brought up to shy away from cultivating these kinds of deep and platonic friendships with other men. Because, you know, if you talk to your male friends all the time and hang out with them and cry in front of them and hug all the time and lean on each other (emotionally and physically) when you need support, it makes you gay and womanly. Which is, apparently, the worst thing you can be.
I’ve read articles and personal stories about and by men, talking about experiences they’ve had that have shown them how painfully out of touch they are with their own emotions and their own ability to open up and connect with people, including themselves.
I worry about men a lot. I worry about the number of men who find themselves incapable of providing emotional support for their friends, their significant others, and themselves, all because of how they’ve been raised to bury and ignore their more vulnerable emotions and tactile tendencies because they’ve been taught that this kind of closeness has to be stamped out at all costs.
!!!!! So important.
So so so important
Studies have shown that this sort of emotional shallowness is a leading factor in why men are more likely to be violent, to drown their sorrows in drug and alcohol abuse, and to successfully commit suicide.
They throw all their eggs in one basket with a significant other, or at times a parent, and when problems arise in that relationship, because they have no other relationships to speak of, they quickly turn to destruction.
This is why I often give out advice that people need to expand on their relationships. You literally CAN’T have it all hinge on a single person, it is a horrific idea and it will destroy you and the things and people you love. You HAVE to have relationships with other people.
Anyone with any mental health issue can tell you that the inability to talk it out, the lack of having someone to turn to, makes things go careening downhill, faster than we can catch them back.
Somehow this is considered an acceptable way of being for men, and their lashing out is “just how men are”. It’s more masculine to shoot yourself than to take medication. It’s more masculine to beat your partners than to have a conversation with them. It’s more masculine to bottle everything up until it erupts and people die, than it is to simply ask for help.
And people want to blame women and feminism for it, for “making men afraid”, or simply try to list the likelihood of surviving suicide and avoiding drug abuse as “female privilege” or something that is a nature-given trick of “biological sex”, rather than address the very serious issue of toxic masculinity and extreme, self-destructive hatred of being perceived as anything like women.
– mod BP
i remember in my intro psych class years ago, we were learning about the importance of long term relationships such as friends and family in adulthood and you need at least 3 really close people in your life the maintain a healthy support system, and we were told to guess how many men have after the age of 25. and the national average is zero. zero. like thats sad
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