mathylibrarian:

thassalia:

vintar:

katschy:

vintar:

thegoodfightingdoctor:

vintar:

i used to get self-conscious over the smallest things but friends let me tell you that today i had to smuggle a furious 8ft python onto the bus during the school rush and not a single person noticed. not one. if people don’t care enough to notice a shopping bag writhing and seething with barely-contained reptilian hatred then i promise you that no-one will pay any attention to that blemish you’re fretting about or how you’ve done your hair

Question, why are you bringing a 8 ft python into a public bus? You know that this reptile can kill anyone inside there?

buddy she’s a snake not a flying death tentacle

snakes are not evil killers out for blood, and length doesn’t mean lethality! my biggest guy is 11 ft– if i have him around my neck, both his face and his tail touch the floor– and even his species struggles to take down anything bigger than a small-to-medium dog

the worst damage that my 8fter is capable of is when she decides to do an impression of a blood-pressure cuff and makes my arm go a bit purple, and even that’s just when i humour her dreams of being big and scary and let her squeeze her hardest before i unwind her like a bratty garden hose

as long as you’re not some sort of magical tumblring rat, you’re fine

Okay, I gotta ask…

1. Why was she angry?

2. Where were you taking her on the bus? Is there a leash-free snake park where you live?

I need to know.

1. she’s a cranky ass in general, but her mood was absolutely not improved by eating a bit of a snake hook, getting stuffed in a sack, experiencing an hour of adelaide’s finest public transport, and having a vet jam a tube into her stomach

2. i think all of australia is technically a leash-free snake park tbh

I am so glad there was follow up on this post explaining why the snake was on the bus!!!

“bratty garden hose” I’m dying